LOVE LANGUAGES: WHAT ARE THEY AND WHY ARE THEY IMPORTANT?

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The 5 Love Languages were identified by Gary Chapman as being the unique ways in which humans give and express love. When it comes to our needs in a relationship, most of us have one dominant love language that makes us feel loved, cared for, and special. Knowing your own love language as well as your partner’s is a simple way to amp up the love in your relationship.

WHAT ARE THE LOVE LANGUAGES?

    • Words of affirmation - the person who speaks this love language is most comfortable speaking and hearing verbal words to communicate love. These affirmations are usually in the form of compliments or praise.

    • Acts of service - this love language involves performing tangible tasks for your loved one, like preparing meals or taking care of the car.

    • Receiving gifts - if your love language is receiving gifts, you express your love by giving people thoughtful presents, and you expect them to do the same.

    • Quality time - with the quality time love language, you need to spend one-on-one, intimate time with your loved one to feel loved. This means a lot more than just sitting at home watching TV: it involves real face to face, meaningful interaction. (If your honey’s love language is quality time, surprise them with our We Need a Weekend package for the perfect weekend getaway!)

    • Physical touch - those whose love language is physical touch need to feel like they're in contact with their loved one. They might need to hold hands and be more physically affectionate to feel and express love.

WHY DO LOVE LANGUAGES MATTER?

Since everyone expresses love differently, it's vital to know what your partner's innermost expectations are to avoid disappointment. Many couples end up in a rut because they don’t understand each other’s love language. Your spouse may say they aren’t getting enough attention, all because you haven’t complimented them or left them any sweet notes lately. But since you don’t know that their love language is Words of Affirmation, and your love language happens to be Acts of Service, you think you can make them feel loved by picking up the dry cleaning or taking their car in for an oil change. Once you know each other’s love language these miscommunications won’t be nearly as frequent.

For example, if your partner speaks the language of "physical touch," it would be extra hurtful to that person if you didn't make the effort to maintain physicality. Or for another example, if your partner's love language is "quality time," gifts and contact simply aren't going to cut it. This person would feel most appreciated with some quality one-on-one time, like with a scheduled date night they can really look forward to. Find a laid-back bar, a romantic restaurant, a great hiking trail: anything to get that quality time.

Whatever your partner's love language happens to be, what's most important is that you respect their need to receive love in the way that makes them most comfortable. Get creative. Research ways to make the magic happen! For example, if your partner's language is "quality time," resources like Denver Date Nite can help you plan an amazing, memorable experience. Learn to speak their language, and see the immediate positive effects in your relationship!